“Can you step into my office?”

These are words that can bring the excitement of a new promotion or announcement of a trip to the far reaches of the company’s facility in Dallas… North Dakota.

These were also the last words Janis thought she would hear on her way into work one Monday morning three years ago.

What followed was the beginning of what, for a time, was a seemingly out of control spiral as Janis’ life changed in ways she could never have envisioned.

Within the hour she had cleaned her desk out and was making a final walk down the hall of her former employer’s building as six-hundred of her co-workers made the same final walk.

The closure of the company left Janis completely dumbstruck, bewildered, and disoriented as she tried to come to grips with her job-loss. For the first few weeks Janis struggled to recover and find a new job. When four months of not being able to even secure an interview came and went, Janis decided that she was n longert going to stand by and let this destroy her life.

When her city was plagued by a string of car-jackings involving women victims, Janis realized what she could do. Using years of experience in self-defense and defensive driving Janis took her last fourteen-hundred dollars, and bought time at a local motorplex. Setting up a website, working with local law-enforcement agencies, and civic organizations, Janis began selling women the basics of learning to drive to protect themselves and their children.

In addition to the very stable business that Janis now has(along with 4 employees), she is also providing a very valuable resource to her community.

 

We all know that each day we could each face one of a vast number of situations which could not only be difficult, but devastate every aspect of our lives.

 

From being downsized, to being diagnosed with a debilitating illness, to losing a loved one: life will take its toll on us all in one way or another. Most times, these situations, although possibly horrific are one-time blows.  Sometimes though, those situations can take the form of a challenge that will last for many years, maybe even for life... and without giving you any kind of a respite.

 

Your chances of not only surviving to minimize the negative aspects of this trauma but moving on to overcome and succeed depend directly on your ability to handle life's challenges in the most effective ways.

 

Will the weight of the ordeal and the accompanying stress crush you or do you have coping skills that will allow you to maintain control, bear this weight and in fact, allow you to come out stronger than you ever were before?

 

In nearly every difficult situation there are a number of specific actions you can do to ease the pain, minimize damages, and to achieve a resolution where you move forward. A day does not go by where we do not hear or read of someone who has experienced some devastating setback in their lives. We marvel at their recovery and subsequent achievements as they come back to succeed in ways no one could have envisioned.

 

By harnessing the storm over their heads, they have chosen to look at their ‘lot in life’, understand where they are, and work within that framework.

 

A ‘WILL DO!’ attitude, creativity, and some brainstorming and before long these people are not only learning to dance in the rainstorm, but they are also gathering that water, filtering it, bottling it, and selling it as the latest unique craze.

Every year Time Magazine showcases what they call the Man of the Year. 1966’s Man of the Year was not a single man, or woman. Instead, in the January 6, 1967 issue of Time Magazine the spotlight was directly on those members of society that had become known as the Baby Boomer Generation.

So, who were these people that Time Magazine had chosen to highlight and bring to the forefront of the collective consciousness?

That is not an easy question to answer. Nearly everyone tends to speak about Baby Boomers as if they are a homogeneous entity: nothing could be further from the reality of the situation.

First. let’s take a quick over view of this vast group of people and in another post I will go into depth on some very salient points surrounding Baby Boomers: where they came from, where they are now, and how they got there.

In the United States alone between 77 and 80.6 million people were born between the years of 1946 and 1964. The two years (1946 and 1947) immediately following World War 2 were the two biggest years of births for the Baby Boom Generation. Today, approximately every 7 seconds another “Boomer” turns 50.

These individuals came of age under completely different circumstances than their parents and even their own children. The leading and trailing edge of this generation lived through completely different times, attitudes, and social changes.

Early factors influencing the leading edge included such issues as the reshaping of the American fabric in the aftermath of the Second World War, the rise of the Communist bloc in Eastern Europe and the “Red Scare”, and the advent of the Nuclear Age.

As these first members of this generation were just beginning to come of age, America was again plunged into a war – the Korean conflict. Individuals born midway through this timeframe were just entering early-adolescence when technology brought the death of President Kennedy into their living rooms. This technology went on to bring into Americas living rooms the Vietnam War, man’s first walk on the moon and many other political and social milestones.

For these reasons, the Baby Boomer profile is a something of an enigma: in their adolescence they became fervently idealistic in some of their social views as they set out to change American institutions and social framework. Although they will spend lavishly on goods and services they attempt to recapture the idealism of their youth.

Fanatical in their rejection of labels like “senior” or “older adult”, they actively oppose ageism and will go to great lengths in their pursuit of their perceived lost youth. Terms such as “Encore Generation” and “Mid-life Individual” have become more accepted as these people enter their ‘Second Acts’ of life.

An evening of television, a look through nearly any magazine, or ten minutes of cruising the Internet and you will find an advertisement directed to this demographic. Advancements in technology and medicine have spurred a media onslaught for the pursuit of youth, vitality, body image, and sexual proficiency.

Another enigma of the Baby Boomer profile is that of retirement and working past the careers these individuals pursued for the first half of their lives. Many Baby Boomers often feel pressure to keep working beyond ‘retirement’ while at the same time feeling trapped as they see the financial instrument they had put in place years before losing value and usefulness in providing for them for the remainder of their lives.

Coupled with this need to continue working these people are not satisfied with what they see as meaningless and unfulfilling Encore Careers. In place of these jobs, Baby Boomers are gravitating to careers where they can realize a certain level of inner satisfaction while giving back something to their communities. In many cases this takes the form of teaching, in others, it is exhibited through socially conscious endeavors. Lastly, many Baby Boomers are turning to bringing hobbies to a fuller part of their lives and launching businesses based on their loves of what had here-to-fore been a weekend hobby.

Colleges and universities are now catering to Baby Boomers with programs and curricula specifically designed which allow them to expand beyond ‘taking classes for the fun of it’ to expanding their current skillsets or growing new skillsets for entry into new careers.

When attempting to understand Baby Boomers it is necessary to remember that when the first Baby Boomers were turning nineteen, the last Baby Boomers were just being born. With all that happened in those nineteen years alone – no one, be it a historian, a marketer, a political strategist, or demographer can, with the slightest modicum of success truly say that Baby Boomers are just another homogeneous generation in the history of America, and by extension – the entire world.

It seems that lately society has taken the attitude that we should chronicle the progressive deterioration of our older citizens.

 

Why is it that we do this instead of examining aging thoroughly, vigorously, and with the same imagination used to scrutinize our youth and young adults?

 

Young people are often portrayed as more attractive, more glamorous, more…whatever.  But, are they? 

 

Let me tell you – my wife is in her early 60’s and she is attractive, glamorous and certainly more interesting than most young people I can think of.  And , she is more the norm than the exception.  She will, however, make me sleep on the couch for the next twelve years if I tell her actual age, so I won’t be doing that in this public forum.

 

Yes, there are some people my age – 55 – who I would rather talk to a dead stump than try to engage in a conversation with, meaningful or otherwise.  But for the most part I find that people who have thrown down a few decades of experiences have something to add to my knowledge bucket, and I can return that favor.

 

Lets get real here.  It took a lot more than talent, dogged perseverance, and sheer blind luck for us to get to this point.  There was some building on the education we were given, but, aside from that, there was the understanding that we were expected to succeed.  To fulfill that expectation, we had to put all our talents, skills, knowledge and determination together and make something of ourselves.

 

Well, we did!  We are now looking around and asking “We got here, now what do we do?”

 

I read somewhere recently that part of aging well was eating all the correct foods, taking the correct vitamins and supplements, and going to the doctor regularly, and so forth.  Only as a meager little note at the bottom of the article did the idea of attitude come up.

 

You gotta be kidding!

 

Attitude is what makes or breaks anything, and that goes triple for getting a few decades under your belt.

 

Some of us took Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer to heart and understood that there are some things we could change and to accept with serenity the things we cannot.  Pick your battles, if you will.  Some didn’t quite get that, and developed resentments instead of allowing forgiveness to replace some of those old hurts and letdowns.  Forgiveness that would have led to successfully aging and enjoying the wonderful years ahead by understanding how to have fun and enjoy life.

 

Simply put:  if you have a sour attitude, you aren’t going to enjoy your senior years.  If you go through life trying to get the “Attitudie-Judy” or Attitudie-Rudy” awards, just how much are you really going to enjoy these years?

 

I remember having a middle-school teacher who liked to tell her students that we needed to up our attitudes sometimes.  There are some of us who need to take a look around at all there is out there in life, up their attitudes, reach out for that brass ring, and truly enjoy life.

 

Do you know which is a better predictor of a positive aging experience at 80 – low cholesterol or a good marriage at age 50?  A good marriage.

 

Yes, it’s a good thing to take care of your physical well-being, but it’s been proven over and over – your mental health, your positive attitude, and your good humor are actually more important.  How many times have you met someone who begins dwelling on how badly they feel and before long they have talked themselves into a bout of bad health?

 

Take a minute to think of just how good it feels to be alive, to be able to enjoy life and look forward to each new day and all the opportunities it has to offer.  This is no time to dwell on the past.  Just smile and say, “Look out world, I’ve upped my attitude!  Now up yours!”

When was the last time someone really listened to you – to what YOU had to say, to how YOU felt about something?

When was the last time YOU listened to someone, paid rapt attention to what they were saying so that they knew that you were paying attention to their every word?

When you truly listen to that other person, the level of your conversation is elevated, and both participants come away with a deeper understanding of what was said.

The art of communication involves both talking and listening, not just hearing the words that the other person is saying but the true intention of what they wanting to convey.

The skill of being a good and patient listener will help you in solving a great many problems in your life. By being able to understand what others are thinking and feeling – seeing the world through their eyes – you will gain a new richness for your own life.

You first must understand that listening is a skill, and like all skills, it has to be learned and practiced for someone to become good at it. We are ecstatic when we hear our children’s first words and we work very hard to make sure they have a rich and wide vocabulary. But we don’t teach them to truly listen – so it really isn’t a surprise that most people are not very good at genuinely listening to what is being told to them.

Most people do not understand that there is a difference between listening and waiting for their turn to speak. Just because they hear what is being said, doesn’t mean they are listening or that they even know how to listen.

Listening is about focusing and actively paying attention to what is being said. When someone asks, “Are you listening to me?” what they are really asking is, “Are you paying attention to me?”

To truly listen to what someone is saying goes beyond merely paying attention to the words they are speaking; it is the active pursuit of understanding and finding the true meaning in what is being said.

Being a “good listener” is a skill that requires practice, but it will give someone who is a “good listener” a huge advantage in all aspects of their lives.

When someone who is a “good listener” engages in a conversation, they make people “feel” heard. The people they are speaking with trust them to be someone who really understands their wants, needs and desires. There is a very good reason for the person to believe this: a “good listener” really does care about them, what they have to say, and will ask questions to fully understand what the person is telling them.

Because initially it can be next to impossible to perfectly understand what someone truly wants or needs; a “good listener” will look for ways to clarify what is being said. They will employ a vast array of tools at their disposal to dig for a deeper understanding of the speaker’s true meanings and needs.

• Keep quiet and let the other person talk.
• Notice the person’s tone of voice, mannerisms, manner of speaking, accent and habits.
• Respond with probing and empowering questions, gestures, and words that demonstrate that they are not only paying attention but also wanting more information.
• Give visual encouragement to the speaker – such as facing the speaker, offering eye contact, and offering an occasional mild head nod.
• In the role of an impartial observer, they work to understand how he or she feels, and what they are thinking.
• Free of preconceptions and prejudices they will listen with an open mind and an open heart

How can you become a “good listener”?

First, whether it is a conversation with your spouse, your child, a co-worker, or a casual conversation with a stranger – hold that time and space for them. Let them know that this is their time and you are not going to let interruptions detract from it. In today’s hectic culture this will mean so much to the person and will make them understand THEY are the center of your attention.

By being free of preconceptions and prejudices, you will be able to listen with an open mind and an open heart and concentrate completely on your speaker and what they are saying. By being non-judgmental, your speaker will understand that you really do care and are truly interested in what they have to say. When they understand that you are not going to judge them they will be more open with you.

Stop talking and learn to be quiet. This is one of the biggest obstacles to listening: the impulse to add your input. This is where you push aside your own agenda and views of what they are talking about, and wait for them to open up at their own pace. Remember, this is about THEM, not you, so let them know this by letting them get whatever it is out and off their chest. Quite often your speaker will feel a greater freedom and be more forthcoming or revealing if they are given the chance to compose their thoughts and talk out what it is that’s concerning them.

This is not to say that you don’t interrupt. You may have to in order to keep them focused and allow you to get a true understanding of the issues they are wanting to talk about.

A “good listener” will have to break in with a question to clarify a point in their mind and in so doing, bring a new clarity to their speaker. A simple summary or rephrasing of what your speaker has said will move your conversation forward and allow them to again understand that you are listening to them and what they have to say. They will ask open-ended questions which are meant to probe to the heart of the issue and bring the speaker to reach their own conclusions about the concerns or issues being raised.

Sometimes during the conversation, it may necessary to summarize and/or reframe what your speaker has said. By summarizing what they have said and reframing it in your own words, your speaker will understand that you have truly been listening to them. This will also provide them an opportunity to correct any mistaken assumptions or misconceptions that may have come up during the course of the conversation. Another tool a “good listener” regularly employs is that of repeating what the speaker has said and encouraging them with positive feedback. Just don’t overdo it because if you do it may be mistaken as patronizing your speaker.

Being a “good listener” is being about your speaker. Your point of view and experiences do not need to come into the conversation, neither does any (no matter how relevant) your advice. If you find yourself thinking of responses before the other person has finished speaking, you are not listening to them.

Being a good listener is important in any relationship. If you communicate well with each other, you will have much less misunderstanding, hurt feelings and arguments. When people see you as someone they can come to, not just as a shoulder to lean on, but as the person who cares about them, everyone will benefit through their shared knowledge, compassion, and enriched lives.

 

How many times in your life have you done something (or not) that you didn’t want to, knew that you shouldn’t, that went against what you believed in an attempt to make someone like you?

 

Even as you get older, you still do things that go against what you know to be in your best interest?

 

How often have you done something you did not want to do in order please those around you just to be considered popular and liked – only to find out later that it really didn’t matter, or in fact – it had the opposite effect: nobody liked or respected you because you were not ‘real’?

 

A lot of people believe that when they do things to please those around them, their family: party when they know they shouldn’t, be with this person or that person, live a certain way… they will be given a stamp of approval.

 

And even if that stamp of approval is given, it is rarely in the person’s true best interest. It is then that they find out that they are living a lie – unhappy, unfulfilled, and feeling trapped.

 

When you do things that are not genuine or a reflection of the real you, you will not be happy with yourself and will end up confused. You'll be confused because you won't know who to please, or how.

 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Suess

 

This is when the person’s sense of self-worth and self-respect suffer. Self-respect comes from being true to who you really are and from acting in accordance with your fundamental nature.

 

We see the result of this loss of self manifest itself in so many ways: withdrawal, dependence on everything from drugs to sex to becoming a workaholic which just perpetuates the slide.

 

You would think that the person would have learned a lesson from their experiences, but sadly… these are repeated again and again.

 

People pursue jobs, relationships, even leisure activities for the wrong reasons. In short, they are not being true to themselves.

 

Sometimes when others are persuading us, we find ourselves doing things that make us feel uncomfortable. We ignore those feelings because we want to be accepted. Peer pressure doesn’t end at age 18, it continues until we learn to listen to our inner feelings.

 

Ever felt that you were being motivated by something that made you feel anxious, nervous or ill at ease? All to impress someone else? You need to pay attention to that feeling, and find out why.

 

When you listen to your inner self (conscious, instinct… whatever you call it), most of the time you will most likely find that you are uncomfortable because you are not living for the true you.

 

When you are pursuing that which honors and builds you up: you will find joy and contentment. It will also give you the confidence that will attract the people who want to be with you for who you are.

 

So! First off, be true to yourself, no matter what. In other words, wherever you are and whoever you meet: don’t do ANYTHING that does not feel right to you. Even if this means that you'll occasionally get put-down - either an outright slam or a snide comment that isn’t as overt. It may mean that you won’t be involved in situations and relationships that suck the life out of you.

 

In your struggle – and sometimes it will seem to be an insurmountable struggle to remain true to yourself - refuse to be intimidated, embarrassed or coerced into engaging in self-destructive behavior!

 

Remember - anything that does not build you up and honor you – is destructive to you.

 

“You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, "I'm proud of what I am and who I am, and I'm just going to be myself." Mariah Carey

 

Be who you are, be your genuine self - don't let anyone's condescending attitude corner you into behaving in a bad-for-you manner that you'll regret later – whether it is the next morning (ie: the walk of shame) or ten years from now when you wake up one day and realize that there is so very little of your true self left that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.

 

How many of us know someone who has been in a relationship that ended after a number of years and the person is adrift, unable to even make the smallest decision for themselves because they abdicated themselves to the other person?

 

Sadly, we see this everyday and with the right help these people can learn who they are and what it means to be their own person again.

 

By recognizing, appreciating, and developing their own unique talents, they come to understand that being 'different' is a gift and that by standing up for what they believe in - they will gain the respect they have sought.

 

These will be self-respecting, true to themselves people who love themselves for who they are and ‘tough if anyone doesn’t like it’ individuals.

 

The empowerment that they will have over their lives will draw people to them like moths to a flame. These empowerment-oriented men and women will understand that they are enriching others by being themselves.

 

One of the leading experts on humanistic and clinical psychology Dr. Clark Moustakas said to “Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end--no apologies, no regrets.” I would add ‘Revel in your individuality, polish that and make it shine! It will make people jealous that you have what it takes to stand up and be true to who you are, not what everyone wants you to be!’

The sun had not risen when she woke up. As her feet slid inside her slippers she mentally groaned to herself,

‘There has got to be more than this.’

By the time she had showered, done her hair, and dressed the sky was ablaze in colors ranging from the deep blue of night to a radiant gold. Royal purple, pink, red, orange – all so vibrant they almost hurt her eyes to look at them as the sun’s rays touched the clouds high overhead.

‘Pretty…’ she thought as she looked at it and thought of the day ahead of her, ‘I just wish I had time to enjoy it with everything I have to do today.’

 

Does this sound familiar? You can see the beauty in the world around you but you just can’t seem to allow yourself the freedom to truly drink it in and enjoy it.

 

If this strikes a note of familiarity with you I say that it is time that you refocused your vision and began empowering yourself to not just enjoy, but celebrate your life.

 

Before we go on we need to go over some basics:

1.      Your life is changing everyday, but how much of that change is what you want?

2.      You have the choice to either wait for change or create it in the way you desire.

3.      If you don’t take any action, most likely, your life will be changed but not in the way you want.

 

Do you truly want to go on living with a sense of dread at the dawn of each new day or do you want to look at that morning sky in amazement and jubilation?

 

Changing so that you can wake up every day excited about what it will be can be as simple as that: refocus how you look at and deal with yourself. The world will fall into place very easily after that.

 

To fully change your life is rarely an overnight thing. With some people it may seem to take years to achieve the fully empowered and enriched life they are striving for. For other, this process may take a lot shorter time.

 

But, wherever you are and however long it will take to attain the life you choose, you can begin to experience and enjoy some very real and visible transformational moments in as short as… today! Right now, in fact!

 

Steps you take today can last you the rest of your life and will enrich your life while empowering you to see and live the life you want and deserve.

 

Most of what I have for you today are small steps in your journey forward, but when you put them together they can create big and lasting change.

 

Ok, let’s get started with a few ways/things you can easily do to change your life in the next 7 days.

 

1. Change the words you use and how you use them

 

Your attitude and mindset hold the largest control over your life and any change that you are going to make in it so that’s where we will start. One of the most effective ways to change your life is to remove certain words and phrases from your vocabulary and to replace them with others that are more positive, uplifting, and empowering of you.

 

And yes, I know that it may take a little time and practice to remove the negative phrases and words you’ve gotten so used to. But once you start using new words and phrases that are more positive, more powerful, and empowering, you’ll be surprised at how differently you look at the world around you.

 

Your entire life changes without you having to change everything. You may wake up to a day of rain and smile at how calm and peaceful the rain is.

 

Do you currently use any of these phrases:

 “Oh God…” when you are not praying.

“Another day, another dollar.”

 “Same ****, different day.”

 “Same old, same old.”

 “Why bother?”

 “Pretty good.”

 “Just let me through this…”

 “Kids these days.”

 “I can’t.”

 “I don’t know.”

The list can go on…

 

Let me ask you: when it is your turn in line in a checkout line and the cashier asks how you are doing (and yes, we know that they ask everyone – and we wonder if they really care), instead of muttering a bland “Ok”, tell them that you are doing “Excellent!” You don’t have to be boisterous about it, but you will instantly notice a change in them. You will also be talking to your own self-conscience and telling yourself that ‘Yes, you are doing excellent today’.

 

This is also another aspect of the words you use: What we say reveals our inner-self.

How do you describe yourself – in a positive way? Using positive words? Or do you put yourself down? Do you remind people of your faults and failings? Or do you focus on your good points?

 

If someone compliments you, what is your reaction? My point is that self-deprecation may work for David Letterman, but when others hear you lowering yourself – they begin to see you in that light.

 

Trouble is – pretty soon, you start seeing yourself in those negative ways too.

 

You may ask why I have placed so much emphasis on the words you use – it’s because they have meaning. Those meanings take root in you and begin to grow; telling you that you are not worthy, you can’t do this or that – all the while holding you prisoner when you should be enjoying the freedom of your life.

 

2. Take stock of the blessings in your life

 

Once you start counting them – you’ll be surprised at the number of them that you have.

 

We have generally been brought up not to think of all that we have and can be thankful for. Instead we let ourselves get caught up and forget to reflect on how fortunate we are.

 

So, what experiences are you glad you have had – not just the good, but also the bad –Those have both inspired you and motivated you in some ways to help shape who you are now.

What do you consider yourself fortunate to have – the love of your family, your health, enough food, the house you live in, your freedom to worship … I knew a man who for some years was bedridden with debilitating back pain. When he would go for a doctor’s visit he would always leave thankful that ‘he wasn’t as bad off as someone’ of the other people there.

Then there are the things/issues/problems that you are thankful you don’t have – hopefully you are not battling an illness, struggling with an unbearable indebtedness or some other calamity in your life. If you are, my heart goes out to you, if you aren’t – this is something to be thankful you are not struggling with.

 

3. Go to bed tonight planning to wake up claiming tomorrow as your best day ever!

 

Then do this EVERY night! Think about that as you lay there settling in. In the morning, each and every morning, before you get out of bed, be joyful that you woke up and get to celebrate your life another day.

 

Your entire life can be positively changed by a single day. And all that one day needs to start is a one good morning.

 

4. So you think you are bad or just not very good at something…

 

The temptation to not allow golfing as an answer is so very great right now because, as any golfer will tell you; there are only a few who are good at the game of golf – everyone else… well, they are good at stretching the truth abit. Everything else is on the table though: writing, painting, singing, you name whatever it is that you don’t think you are very good at…

 

Have you really given yourself the time to make a serious attempt at it? I will say that if you would, you might very well find a new talent for yourself.

 

5. What’s on your bucket list?

 

What are the things you would like to do before you die? Is there something on your bucket list that you can do in the next week? You might surprise yourself with the answer to that one. A woman who had it on her bucket list to take a ride in one of those big eighteen-wheelers got to drive one when she made a simple request of a truck driver one day. This is the beginning of the celebration you call your life – it’s time to start with the noisemaker and a sparkler!

 

6. What is your life’s purpose?

 

It is an age old question: why are we here? What role do we have and how are we to play it? This is not an easy task; with focus and a bit of work, it can be accomplished in the coming week.

 

There are a vast myriad of resources out there to help you with this but think of this: where do you go when you daydream? That’s your passion. What would you like to have engraved on your headstone? What makes you feel down deep inside like you have done something worthwhile and lasting, that makes a difference in your life, the lives of those around you, and the world as a whole?

 

7. Realize that change is constantly happening

 

Here is where we have come full circle: your life does not stand still. With each day it changes, you can empower yourself to control that change.  And even if it seems like you continually go through the same routine over and over again, no two days of your life are ever the same. When you realize this, even those days of struggle (and they will still come your way) will become bearable. Why? Because you know that “good new days” are just a new morning away.

We all do it.

You know what that ‘it’ is?

Not thinking about ourselves in a positive way.

Yes, I know that there are things about each of us that we are not satisfied with, but we shouldn’t let those things invade our thoughts to the point that we let it control our thoughts in a negative way.

“I’m too old…”, “I’m fat.”, “I’m not smart enough…”, “I can’t… because…”…

We all hear people saying these and a multitude of other things just as self-destructive every day. Maybe we say them ourselves.

I know I used to. Then I realized that even if we are joking and putting ourselves down, those words still get into our brains and influence how we think of ourselves.

I know that I need to lose at least twenty pounds off my middle… Thirty would be wonderful, but you know something? I am not letting that middle-age tummy control my attitude and image of myself. Yes, I am slowly working on it, I could undoubtedly do more to reduce it. But it is not something in my life that reduces my self image. In fact, I look at my tummy as a monument to my wife’s excellent cooking.

“I’m too old…” for what? To enjoy life? Nope, think about how absolutely wonderful it is that you ARE alive! That you woke up this morning and can enjoy this life that you have.

Yes, I know that there are setbacks, hardships, and things that just STRESS us out. I have them too.

We all have some little voice (sometimes it can sound VERY loud) that is telling us that “Well, ya know… other people might be able to do that, but well… you aren’t good enough, young enough, rich enough… yada, yada, yada…”

Well, there is NO reason you should believe that little voice – YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! You are NOT too ___________ (fill in the blank) to get out and enjoy the life you HAVE!

And today is not too soon to start thinking about yourself in a positive way, start reminding yourself of the POSITIVE things about yourself and enjoying your life!